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00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
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♪
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JESSE:
Good job, guys!
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All in all, I'd say it was
a pretty successful
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Eyes Wide Shut sex party
slash fundraiser for UNICEF.
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‐ The time traveling glory hole
was a great touch.
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Dirty Randy's still going at it,
aren't ya, bud?
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‐ Whoa‐ho! My dong inadvertently caused
the assassination of JFK!
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‐ Wasn't that a B‐story
on Modern Family?
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‐ That party sucked.
No one wanted to sacrifice Ragu.
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[bleats]
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No way the petting zoo's
gonna take him back
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with that haunted look
in his eyes.
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[evil laughter]
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[bleats]
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KORVO:
I finally did it!
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I perfectly deboned this brrranzino.
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It took me 147 tries but‐‐
Wait, wh‐where is everyone?
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‐ Party's over, man.
You took too long with the fish.
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I told you,
just order Burger Lounge.
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Everyone at an orgy expects
to be eating Burger Lounge.
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Burger Lounge:
Eat Clean, Fuck Dirty.
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‐ I guess I'll just enjoy this
perfectly deboned European Sea Bass
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by myself.
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[gags, chokes]
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‐ Should we save him?
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‐ Yeah, I guess give him
the Shlorplich maneuver.
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‐ [gasps]
Just for the record, I was just
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[gasps]
pretending to choke.
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[energy humming]
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[electricity crackling]
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‐ Ah crap, the Pupa's blue.
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‐ Uh, what does that mean?
‐ You're the Pupa specialist!
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‐ Right... and what does that mean?
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‐ Aisha, access the Pupa's
informational color swatches.
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Okay, royal blue means
the Pupa has kennel cough,
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cornflower blue means one of us just had
a sex dream about the other one,
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navy blue means
his Hulu plan is expiring,
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robin's egg blue means
we get a free Xbox,
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Pacific blue means
we all die at midnight!
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[all gasp]
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‐ We were so close
to gettin' that Xbox!
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KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
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until the asteroid hit.
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One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
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and escaped into,
uh, the space,
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searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
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We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
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That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
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I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
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This is, this is my show.
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I just dropped the Pupa.
Do you see me?
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[stammers]
This is ridiculous.
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I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
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People are stupid.
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They love having robots do their jobs,
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but they don't create
a system of universal income
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so they can have money
after the robots take their jobs.
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It makes no sense!
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♪
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‐ Okay, let me break it down for you.
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‐ Oh yeah, baby, break it down,
break it down‐‐
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‐ Shut the fuck up, Terry!
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Since the Pupa's turned blue,
he's been emitting a protein dust
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that triggers a natural mechanism
in our bodies
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that kills us in 12 hours.
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‐ Ooh, stakes!
People are listening now!
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‐ After we die,
the Pupa will eat us,
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then evolve and terraform
this shit stain of a planet
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into the image of our home world.
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‐ Hey, alright! That means
we're closer to completing the mission.
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We are so good at this!
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‐ I bet when I die,
I'll be so popular at school.
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Last year, Jeannie Scarlatos
got crowned homecoming queen
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after a moose kicked her in the heart.
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‐ Ooh, I've never died before!
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But I have seen Weekend at Bernie's
like a hundred times,
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so I guarantee
it's gonna be hilarious.
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‐ You know, dying is gonna
be great for all of us.
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Let's gather all our stuff
and burn it on the front lawn.
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I don't want any humans
touching my shit while I'm dead.
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And then we can dig
the pits we die in.
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Ooh, I gotta get
my shovel back from Keith.
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‐ Better hurry,
Pupa's looking hungry.
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[knife scraping]
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♪ ominous music playing ♪
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‐ Keith, whatever dumb shit
you're doing right now, stop.
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‐ Korvo! Hey, buddy,
check out my new business:
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"Fruit By Keith By The Foot."
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I'm making
my own fruit snacks.
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‐ I don't have time
for your crazy neighbor antics.
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Give me back my shovel.
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‐ Oh okay. You digging
a hole or something?
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‐ If you must know, I'm gonna be dying
in about 12 hours,
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and I need to dig my death hole.
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‐ Oh my God. Korvo,
I'm so sorry. Are you sick?
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‐ No, it's complicated alien shit.
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I'm not gonna sit here
and explain it to a moron.
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‐ Well, I gotta say,
I'm impressed with your attitude.
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If I knew I was going to die today,
I'd be freaking out.
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‐ What? Why?
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‐ I mean, you know,
death is so final.
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There's so much I'd feel like I need
to do in my life before I die.
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‐ What do you mean "death is final"?
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‐ Oh, oh, guys. Um, after we burn
our stuff, let's salt the Earth,
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you know, like, just for safety.
‐ Guys! Guys, stop!
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We were lied to about
what happens when you die!
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‐ Does this mean
we actually get that Xbox?
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I call first dibs, I wanna play
the Moonlight LEGO game!
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‐ No! Do know what YOLO means?
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‐ Isn't it like
the white version of FUBU?
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‐ No! Keith just told me
that when you die, that's it,
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you don't get
to do anything after!
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Y‐you cease to exist!
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‐ What? No, no, no, no.
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Look, I watch a lot of cartoons,
and death is not a big deal.
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‐ Apparently,
those cartoons aren't accurate!
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This whole time, we were supposed
to be living fulfilling lives!
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He's also making
his own fruit leather,
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and I made fun of it until I tried some,
and it's actually really good.
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‐ But we're dying in 11 hours.
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Well, how are we supposed
to live full lives
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in the same amount of time
it takes to digest a McFlurry?
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‐ Hey! Maybe we're already fulfilled.
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One of my tweets did get
a like from Post Malone.
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He's pretty busy.
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‐ Oh my God, you're right!
Maybe we are fulfilled. To the ship!
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AISHA:
The dictionary defines fulfillment as
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"being satisfied or happy as a result
of fully developing one's character."
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‐ Okay, yeah, tha‐‐
I mean, that sounds like us.
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We've done that, I think.
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Ayeesh, pull up
the fulfillment meters.
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[all gasp]
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‐ Fuck ass, look at that!
We're hardly fulfilled at all!
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Aisha, how much time
do we have until death?
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‐ Eleven hours,
43 minutes, and 23 seconds.
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JESSE: Cripes!
‐ Aw, fuckers!
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‐ Okay, calm down.
We still have time to get fulfilled.
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It's gonna be tight,
so no time to waste.
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Everyone needs to write down all
the things that will make you fulfilled.
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You have one hour. Go!
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♪ ominous music playing ♪
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‐ Ugh, why did we waste a whole hour
writing these ideas?
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I did mine in, like, five minutes
then Googled up‐kilt pictures
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the rest of the time.
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There's some
big ol' dongs in that.
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‐ Geez, there's a lot of these.
"Learn how to crip walk."
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"Shoot an avenge porn."
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"Fight the Property Brothers."
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‐ Yay! The pink ones are mine!
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‐ Crip walk dancing isn't gonna
move the needle.
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We have to do the one that makes us
the most fulfilled
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in the least amount of time.
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‐ Win a Teen Choice Award?
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‐ It's the last step
to winning an AGOT.
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Adult Video News, Grammy,
Oscar, and Teen Choice.
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‐ Part of an AGOT won't do it.
You need the whole AGOT.
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‐ End global warming?
‐ That's mine.
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I don't know, it felt like something
people talk about, right?
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‐ Too easy. We could just do that
with our End Global Warming Ray.
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‐ Hunt down
and kill Carmen Sandiego.
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Hell yeah, this one's mine.
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Fuck Carmen Sandiego,
always rubbing it in our face
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that she gets to travel for a living!
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‐ "Help a rag‐tag group of kids
win a sports championship."
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Hey, that's it!
YUMYULACK: What?
167
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,074
Why would we care about that?
It sounds stupid.
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‐ Hey, that's not stupid,
that's my idea!
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‐ Yes, we don't care about it.
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But if we do care about it
after we finish, then we'll be fulfilled
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just like Gordon Bombay
in The Mighty Ducks!
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‐ Told you it wasn't stupid, Yumyulack!
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‐ Oh, it was totally stupid, Jesse.
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But then I figured out
a way to make it cool.
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Come on, no time to waste.
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AISHA: Goddamn,
you motherfuckers are back again?
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‐ We need you to find us
the nearest championship game.
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‐ Okay, it's kinda out of season
but let me see.
179
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The closest option
is a water polo championship
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in Rio De Janeiro.
Y'all got swimming suits?
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‐ Ugh, water polo is just wet hockey.
It'll have to do.
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‐ The Solar Opposites are going
to Brazil to get fulfilled!
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00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,944
♪
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‐ Stop that! We don't have time
for any cool establishing shots!
185
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:48,534
[whistle blowing]
186
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,329
‐ Ah, that took way too long!
187
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,164
Come on, let's find the rag‐taggers
and get on with this.
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♪ rock music playing ♪
189
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♪
190
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,889
‐ Holy guacamole, mama like.
191
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,933
‐ Goddammit, none of these guys
are rag‐taggy at all.
192
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,310
They swim all day, of course they look
like Greek fucking Gods.
193
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,980
‐ Who cares? Just pick a team
and I'll zap 'em with the Rag Tag Ray.
194
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,984
‐ Asthmatic and from a C‐list
South American country? Boom.
195
00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:22,609
[ray gun whining]
196
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:27,948
‐ Now they're tagged to the rag.
197
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,283
‐ You missed one.
‐ No, I didn't.
198
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,993
‐ I just want to win for my dad.
199
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:33,036
He has butt cancer
in his heart.
200
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,372
‐ Okay, guys, I know you're super rag‐tag
and down on your luck
201
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,332
but if you listen to our coaching
and work as a team,
202
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,375
we can go all the way!
203
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,002
Plus we have to do this
as fast as possible.
204
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,879
‐ I just want to make
my dad proud.
205
00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,839
He got his heart butt cancer
from smoking.
206
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:44,882
‐ We get it.
207
00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,884
[horn blares]
208
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:50,804
[inaudible]
209
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,599
♪
210
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,225
[cheering]
211
00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:59,479
[inaudible]
212
00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:02,858
[crowd cheers]
213
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,820
♪
214
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:15,204
[horn blares]
[crowd cheers]
215
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:20,626
♪
216
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:21,627
[whistle blows]
217
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,963
♪
218
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:25,756
[inaudible]
219
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:30,302
♪
220
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,559
[horn blares]
221
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:41,563
[all cheering]
222
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,402
‐ I love you, butt cancer dad!
223
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,780
[modulated voice]
Thank you for making us champions.
224
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,448
But can you turn me back to young.
225
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,492
I was so hot
and had a beautiful voice
226
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:54,952
and got tons of pussy.
227
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,954
‐ No, we have to get back
and see how fulfilled we are.
228
00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,498
Hurry, hurry! Check the meters.
Are‐are‐are we fulfilled?
229
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‐ I feel pretty dang satisfied!
230
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,377
‐ Oh shit!
They've hardly moved at all.
231
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,461
‐ No! That should've worked.
232
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,422
‐ We wasted so much time
on that stupid water polo thing.
233
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,132
‐ Jesus Christ,
the Pupa looks so hungry.
234
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,134
♪
235
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,302
‐ I can't go down like this!
236
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,137
Ugh! You know what?
You're all holding me back!
237
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,640
Fuck you, guys,
I'm getting fulfilled by myself!
238
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,392
‐ Okay, I'm gonna go. Fuck you!
‐ Give me a slip.
239
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,143
-[Korvo/
-Yumyulack shouting]
JESSE: Fuck you losers!
240
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,023
TERRY:
Help an old lady across the street.
241
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,860
Why are all of Korvo's ideas
about doing stuff to old ladies?
242
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:28,819
Hey, Granny! Stop!
243
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,446
‐ Ugh! You're hurting me!
‐ No, I'm not, this is helping!
244
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,199
‐ I need to go to the bus
on the other side of the street.
245
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,492
‐ No time!
I'm getting fulfilled!
246
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,870
Ah, what the fuck! Ah!
‐ Eat shit!
247
00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,957
‐ Teach someone to read.
Ugh, stupid Jesse.
248
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:43,208
Why can't I do
something awesome,
249
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,169
like see how many grapes
I can fit in my mouth?
250
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,381
Now your baby can read.
You're welcome!
251
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:50,299
‐ What? Why?
252
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,509
‐ Now you can read.
Getting fulfilled!
253
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,595
‐ I could already read,
I'm a famous novelist.
254
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,013
‐ Now your hat can read!
255
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,723
‐ Stop that!
What are you doing?
256
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,432
‐ Your car can read!
‐ Help!
257
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,726
This alien is educating
my things!
258
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,436
‐ Stop right there,
you dirty alien!
259
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,605
Oh God, I can read?
What if I gain empathy?
260
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,481
What if I learn things
that force me to re‐evaluate
261
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,774
my hardline conservative opinions?
262
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,651
‐ Ahh!
‐ Oh my God!
263
00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:12,654
KORVO: I don't have a lot of time,
so I have to learn how to skydive
264
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:13,906
and get baptized
at the same time.
265
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:17,159
‐ I'm certified by the FAA
and our Lord and Savior‐‐
266
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:18,660
‐ Jesus Christ!
267
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,455
[screaming]
‐ Dunk your head in the holy water!
268
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:24,499
Korvo, I now baptize you in the name
of the Father, Son, and the‐‐
269
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,918
Oh shit, I dropped the bowl!
270
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:26,835
‐ Fuck, fuck, fuck!
271
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,547
♪
272
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,055
‐ Oh, looks like God was on our side!
273
00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:38,764
[screams]
274
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,433
Although his ways are mysterious.
275
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,061
GUARD:
What are you doing, little girl?
276
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:47,147
‐ I'm freein' the Willys,
ya dumb cracker!
277
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:49,775
[squeak]
278
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:52,653
♪
279
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,947
[squeak]
[tires screeching]
280
00:10:54,947 --> 00:10:57,449
Have fun being free, Willys!
[horn blaring]
281
00:10:57,449 --> 00:11:00,452
♪
282
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,414
‐ Alright, Jake Slater,
you have been kissed.
283
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,917
Just to be clear, this probably would have
fulfilled Jesse more than me.
284
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,378
‐ Whoa. I've never been kissed
like that before.
285
00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:10,462
Will you go to prom with me?
286
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,922
‐ Depends on what you're wearing!
287
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,633
♪ ominous music playing ♪
288
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,885
♪
289
00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:21,723
[grunts]
290
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,683
[knocking on door]
291
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:25,018
[beeping]
292
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,272
‐ What the fuck are you doing here?
‐ Hello, Ms. Frankie.
293
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:31,233
Yumyulack wanted to tell you
"to go fuck yourself twice,
294
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:33,485
you has‐been bag
of stinky dog piss."
295
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,028
‐ Hurtful but continue.
296
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,530
‐ And Terry wanted to‐‐
297
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,739
Oh, hells no.
298
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:38,657
‐ What is it?
299
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,785
♪ Ke$ha's Die Young playing ♪
300
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,537
♪
301
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,622
‐ ♪ I hear your heart beat ♪
302
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,040
♪ To the beat of the drums ♪
303
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,250
‐ I'm watching you!
304
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,169
‐ But I'm dancing like you're not!
‐ Aah!
305
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:52,588
‐ ♪ Came here with someone ♪
306
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:54,756
[Jesse sobbing]
307
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:59,678
♪ Let's make the most of the night
like we're gonna die young ♪
308
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:02,222
[groaning]
309
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,558
[baby crying]
310
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:05,601
[all applauding]
311
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,644
♪ We're gonna die young ♪
312
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,730
[machine beeping]
313
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:14,651
♪ Let's make the most of the night
like we're gonna die young ♪
314
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,779
[dogs barking]
315
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,072
[moans]
[Korvo slobbering]
316
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,949
‐ Don't‐‐ Oh!
[chuckles]
317
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,534
‐ Dammit, Frankie,
I'm on the clock.
318
00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:24,786
[tires screech]
319
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:28,832
‐ Wait, Samantha!
Don't get on that plane. I love you.
320
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:31,001
‐ What? Me?
I don't know you!
321
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,127
‐ I love you more
than anything I've ever‐‐
322
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,420
[horn honks]
[grunts, screams]
323
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,965
‐ ♪ Livin' hard just like we should ♪
324
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,843
♪ Don't care who's watchin'
when we tearin' it up ♪
325
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:40,802
♪ You know ♪
326
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,555
♪ That magic that we got
nobody can touch ♪
327
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,556
♪ Fo' sho' ♪
328
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:47,392
♪ Lookin' for some trouble tonight ♪
329
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:48,268
♪ Yeah ♪
330
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,980
♪ Take my hand
I'll show you the wild side ♪
331
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:56,610
♪ Let's make the most of the night
like we're gonna die young ♪
332
00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:59,446
TERRY :
Man, that was some good fulfilling!
333
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,573
‐ I'm so fulfull,
I'm gonna yack.
334
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,618
‐ Let's not start tuggin' each other's
nonexistent dicks quite yet.
335
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:05,702
We don't know if it worked.
336
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,663
‐ Oh, I have a feeling
I'm completely fulfilled.
337
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:10,165
I didn't give a woman
six and a half orgasms for nothing.
338
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:13,544
Aisha, pull up our fulfillment meters
and prepare to be impressed.
339
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,463
TERRY:
Mostly? What the fuck?
340
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,424
‐ What? I don't understand,
we did all our slips!
341
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,717
‐ Ooh, my word of the day!
342
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,511
Today's word is dilatory,
343
00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:24,513
meaning moving or proceeding
at less than normal speed.
344
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,764
I'll use it in a sentence:
345
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,516
I am dilatory all the time
346
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,643
because I'm kinda lazy
and fuckin' stupid.
347
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,644
[machine beeps]
Ooh!
348
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:31,895
[beeping]
349
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,398
Oh my God, I'm fulfilled!
I did it! I feel amazing!
350
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:35,732
I YOLO'd and you didn't!
351
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,150
You're Yo‐Losers!
352
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,152
[grunting]
353
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,905
‐ Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where's that button? Ha ha!
354
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,365
Whoo!
[party horn blows]
355
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:46,118
Fuck you! Fuck you!
And fuck you!
356
00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:47,578
‐ Shut up, Terry! You suck.
357
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:48,537
‐ Yeah, shut up!
358
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,372
‐ Make me,
you unfulfilled motherfuckers!
359
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,456
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
360
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,541
[glass shatters]
[screams]
361
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,211
‐ Ah geez, he really splatted.
362
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,255
It wasn't even that much of a fall.
363
00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,590
‐ Hey, that's my "b" guys.
[bleating]
364
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:03,135
KORVO: Stop licking Terry's blood,
you Ragu! Show some respect!
365
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,553
‐ Wait a minute.
When Terry died,
366
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,097
it looks like his fulfillment points
transferred over to me.
367
00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,473
[chuckles]
I'm almost fulfilled now.
368
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,017
‐ Holy shit, I guess we're in a
369
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,519
"there‐can‐only‐be‐one"
Highlander‐ type situation.
370
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,771
‐ Wait, I thought that show
was about a hot nurse
371
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,982
who goes back in time
to get her ass eaten out?
372
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,025
‐ No, that's Outlander.
373
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,235
Highlander means if one of us
kills the other two,
374
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,904
we'd be totally fulfilled
before we die.
375
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:22,821
‐ Okay. That tracks.
376
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,406
‐ But we would never kill
each other, right?
377
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,866
I mean, w‐we're a family.
378
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,951
‐ Yeah. That's, that's what we all think.
‐ Sure. A family.
379
00:14:28,619 --> 00:14:31,955
‐ I'm gonna go mourn Terry
in another part of the house.
380
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:35,459
‐ I'm gonna go do, uh,
some Solar Opposites stuff.
381
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:39,004
‐ And I am going to go write
a Rotten Tomatoes user review
382
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,380
of Thor: The Dark World.
383
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,759
So people can know my thoughts
on that particular Thor movie.
384
00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:49,389
‐ It's so great that we're not
preparing to kill each other.
385
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,974
♪ ominous music playing ♪
386
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:54,311
♪
387
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,316
[door opens]
388
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,359
♪
389
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:01,568
[machine whirring]
390
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,862
[smoke hissing, machine whirring]
391
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:06,448
‐ Hey, beautiful.
You ready to fuck shit up?
392
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,993
[whirring, clanking]
393
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:13,080
Dammit. Why did I design this
to only turn when you go backwards?
394
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,751
‐ Perfect.
395
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,547
‐ Aisha, I need that magic potion.
AISHA: The one we keep in Narnia?
396
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:23,382
We promised
we would never go back.
397
00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:25,759
‐ No, the secret magic potion
that Jewish wizard taught me!
398
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,052
Hurry!
[flask clinks]
399
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:29,763
Baruch Atah Adonai
400
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,849
Expellilumus Leviosa...
401
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,101
Ugh!
402
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:34,935
[groans]
[flask shatters]
403
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:37,896
[whirring, clanking]
404
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:41,191
♪
405
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,902
‐ No fair, you have a tank!
406
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,947
‐ Yeah, and I'm gonna blast you
and develop the shit out of my character!
407
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:50,158
‐ Maybe that would have worked
before I made my magic me's!
408
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,285
Come on out, boys!
409
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:53,912
‐ That's not fair!
410
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,039
‐ Jesse, what did you do?
Aren't you trying to kill us too?
411
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,792
‐ Oh gosh, no.
I would never do that to my family.
412
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,003
‐ [scoffs]
Typical Jesse. So stupid.
413
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,505
‐ Ow!
‐ Oww!
414
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:06,049
‐ Psych!
I Home Alone'd the whole house!
415
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,051
Welcome to Hell, boys!
416
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,305
‐ Die, you creepy little Korvos!
417
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:12,890
[squealing]
418
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:13,348
[bones crack]
419
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,268
♪
420
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:17,352
[grunting]
Oh!
421
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:21,815
♪
422
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,401
[screams]
423
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:27,196
Ah!
424
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,823
[gasping]
425
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,911
‐ Ha! Try getting all those feathers
off of you!
426
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,454
[screams]
427
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,127
[yells]
428
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:43,587
[machine gunfire continues]
429
00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:48,133
[train whistle hoots]
430
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,718
‐ I'm gonna kill that kid!
431
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:50,886
[yells]
432
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:51,803
[machine gunfire continues]
433
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,015
‐ Come out here,
normal‐sized Korvo!
434
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,601
It's time for me to finish you!
‐ Not quite yet!
435
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,853
[whistles]
[thudding footsteps]
436
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,064
Meet ogre Korvo.
437
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,107
Or as I like to call him, Orgo.
438
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,817
[roars]
439
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:08,820
[growls]
440
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,580
[screams]
441
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:19,248
[grunts]
442
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:20,874
Aah‐‐
443
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,800
‐ Oh my God,
Yumyulack is dead!
444
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:30,509
[bleats]
445
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:32,594
My brother from another
toe mother!
446
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,263
‐ Yeah, I killed him,
and you're next.
447
00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:36,682
[Jesse sobbing]
448
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,394
Wait a minute. W‐what are we doing?
This feels wrong.
449
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:42,980
Should we really be killing each other
just to get these stupid points?
450
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:45,440
‐ I was just thinking
the same thing!
451
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,193
We should have spent
these last 12 hours with each other,
452
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,362
enjoying the company of family.
453
00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:52,489
‐ I'm sorry, Jesse.
Y‐you're right.
454
00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,243
‐ Korvo, I'm scared.
455
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,203
Is, is dying gonna hurt?
456
00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:01,206
‐ No, I, I think it'll be peaceful,
li‐li‐like falling asleep.
457
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,959
‐ Well, I'm glad that
at least we'll die together.
458
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:06,336
‐ You know what? Maybe spending time
with people you love
459
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,880
is what gives your life meaning.
460
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,674
Not some bucket list
or making a history teacher cum so hard
461
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:12,384
she loses feeling in her left side?
462
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:13,927
‐ Korvo, that's beautiful.
463
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,512
Come here, ya big lug.
464
00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:22,269
No, Korvo!
465
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:24,938
My last booby trap,
I forgot all about it!
466
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,608
I'm so sorry! No!
467
00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:28,859
[machine beeps]
Wait!
468
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:30,986
[beeping]
469
00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:32,654
I'm fulfilled!
470
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:33,989
It feels amazing!
471
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,783
I'm fulfilled, mother scratchers!
472
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:39,786
‐ But I only have a minute left.
473
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,121
I gotta do this right.
474
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,998
Korvo said
it's all about family.
475
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:45,918
It's time to bring
this baby full circle.
476
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:47,336
♪
477
00:18:53,342 --> 00:18:55,135
[beeping]
478
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:55,969
[buzzer sounds]
479
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,138
Goodbye, Pupa.
480
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:01,642
Remember not to eat us too fast
or you'll get a tummy ache.
481
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,523
Any moment now.
482
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:12,402
Maybe that old clock
was just a little fast.
483
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,283
Ah cripes,
484
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,994
did I kill our family
for no reason? I hate when‐‐
485
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,204
Holy sh‐‐
486
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,084
[rumbling]
487
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:32,589
♪
488
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,184
‐ Look at that Pupa eating our fruit.
489
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,603
Maybe save some
and make a jam, you little fatty!
490
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,230
‐ Alright, so w‐what next?
491
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,732
Is the Pupa gonna terraform the world
once he's done eating the fruit?
492
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,734
‐ You're the Pupa specialist!
‐ Right, right, right, right.
493
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:55,654
No, I‐I‐I meant like for everyone else
who doesn't know what the Pupa does.
494
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:56,655
‐ Jesus, Terry. No.
495
00:19:56,655 --> 00:19:58,907
There's like a bunch more steps
in his evolution after this.
496
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:01,451
This is just step eight.
Or‐or nine. I don't know.
497
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:04,872
‐ Oh, look at him go. You were
a hungry little Pupa, weren't you?
498
00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:06,915
Pupa, get over here
and suck the sap off my trunk!
499
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,084
‐ Whoa, you're all trees now?
500
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:11,295
‐ Of course we are.
We‐we died and came back as trees.
501
00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:12,254
Why do you sound surprised?
502
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,964
‐ 'Cause it's fuckin' crazy.
503
00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:16,175
When humans die,
we just turn into rotten mush.
504
00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:17,634
We don't come back as trees.
505
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:20,179
‐ Okay, smartass, but then where did
all the trees come from?
506
00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:21,013
I mean, they're everywhere.
507
00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:22,431
‐ I don't know,
those are just trees.
508
00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:24,558
‐ You're telling me human death
operates by different rules
509
00:20:24,558 --> 00:20:26,476
and we didn't have to get
fulfilled before we died?
510
00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:27,269
‐ I guess not.
511
00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:29,563
‐ We destroyed our house
because of your bullshit, Keith!
512
00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:30,814
‐ How was I supposed to know?
513
00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:31,940
‐ Fuck you, Keith!
You suck!
514
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:35,444
And your Fruit by Keith by the Foot
tastes like Poop by Keith from the Butt!
515
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:38,030
‐ I wasted my cool‐ass hidden tank
because of you!
516
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:40,032
‐ Jesus Christ, calm down!
I thought you were dying!
517
00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:41,325
‐ You're a piece of shit, Keith!
Fuck you!
518
00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:42,618
‐ Hey! Ow!
519
00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:43,744
Stop!
‐ Die, die!
520
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,537
‐ When we grow our legs back,
we're gonna kill you!
521
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,080
‐ Yeah, Keith!
‐ I was just trying to help!
522
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,249
‐ You better move, Keith!
You better change your identity!
523
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,668
We're going to spend the rest of our lives
hunting your stupid ass down!
524
00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:55,422
AISHA: Wow, it turns out
hatin' on Keith together
525
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,508
was what finally fulfilled them all.
526
00:20:57,508 --> 00:20:59,510
‐ Ah , I feel so fulfilled!
‐ Me too!
527
00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:02,596
‐ Aw, this is amazing. We should've
just been tormenting Keith all along.
528
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,640
‐ It's so nice
to be fulfilled as a family.
529
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,392
Whoa‐ho‐ho! I can already see
my feet starting to form,
530
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,894
so you better pack up,
you little bitch!
531
00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:10,562
‐ You don't know how many seasons
we're gonna have, Keith!
532
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,814
We're aliens. We can grow
into trees and come back
533
00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:13,982
season after season!
534
00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,067
I'm gonna cut your eyes out!
535
00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:16,109
‐ Yeah, I'm gonna kick you
in the dick!
536
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,487
[all shouting]
537
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:19,821
‐ You know guys, all in all,
538
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:22,616
this was a pretty satisfying end
to our day.
539
00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:24,743
‐ Yeah, that's actually kind of the end
to our whole year.
540
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,870
Man, what a run.
We did a lot this year.
541
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:27,788
‐ Wait, that's really the end?
542
00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:30,123
We ran around worrying about death,
that's how we go out?
543
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:33,043
‐ Yeah, I mean, what else do you want?
Some fuckin' hacky holiday special?
544
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:36,672
I would never, ever, in a million years
do something as lame and cash‐grabby
545
00:21:36,672 --> 00:21:38,423
as a Solar Opposites holiday special.
546
00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:40,384
‐ Yeah, the Solar Opposites
have integrity.
547
00:21:40,384 --> 00:21:41,426
‐ That's right.
We have integrity!
548
00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,345
And we would never sacrifice that
for anything‐‐
549
00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:44,179
[cell phone buzzing]
Hold on, hold on.
550
00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:45,931
I'm getting a text from Hulu.
551
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,559
Huh.
‐ What does it say, Korvo?
552
00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:50,978
Is it about our integrity?
553
00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:53,313
‐ Sort of. Goddammit.
554
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:56,692
♪ folksy Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
playing ♪
555
00:21:56,692 --> 00:22:02,155
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
556
00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:05,742
♪
557
00:22:43,989 --> 00:22:45,490
[mimicking laser fire]